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Celia Hodes - Weeds WikiPlayed by: Elizabeth Perkins

Seasons: 1-5

Occupation: Agrestic City Council, PTA president

Nicknames: "Gangsta Barbie"

Signature look: Business suits from Theory, closed toe pumps and button down shirts.

The Hodes

Celia has nerves of steel and knows how to get her way - even if it involves bribery.

Alcohol, sex
, and her mom (who she despises more then anyone.)

Celia's story: As for being a manic, image-obsessed, and manipulative person, Celia was diagnosed with breast cancer during the conclusion of season 1. Through chemo therapy, to which she went bald, she is a survivor. She also despised her husband (apart from the first two years), whom she divorces in the latter. She also hates her two daughters almost as much as they hate her. She has no friends, though, Nancy is as close as you can get to, in terms of, a "love-hate relationship" friend.

She rocks, and though she is a blond b*tch, she keeps you wanting more! Celia is also a great barber...take a look at her cheating husband's bald head and then make that assumption.

I love to hate Celia & now that she's involved in the pot biz & the broomstick is coming out of her a*s, I'm starting to love her even more...lets face it. She's a riot!

Maybe she'll get more gangsta Barbie! Who knows we all can change? Celia can maybe smoke some weed in the show some time - that would be real cool for a final scene!
FAMILY: The Hodes
Celia Hodes - Weeds WikiName- Dean Hodes

What we know about their relationship:

Celia says it all: "Whenever I slept with you, I always thought of other men. Out of the last [something] years we've been married, I've only enjoyed the first two."

Celia Hodes - Weeds WikiName- Isabelle Hodes

What we know about their relationship:
Celia and Isabelle have a very strained relationship, resulting in Isabelle to reluctantly choose to live with her father when Celia and Dean get divorced. Celia is forever making jokes and horrible comments about Isabelle and her weight (calling her "Isabelly") and is always trying to get Isabelle to diet; she also makes fun of her lesbianism. Isabelle always says she hates her mom but later on admitted to Shane that she weirdly "missed her" yet was the one who told Doug to blame Celia for the grow house after Celia turned Nancy in.
Insert photo here!

What we know about their relationship:
Celia Hodes - Weeds WikiName- Quinn Hodes
Long Lost Daughter

What we know about their relationship:
Quinn dated Silas in the beginning of Season one. In an attempt to prevent them from having sex, or at least to be aware of their sexual relationship, Celia puts a pink teddy bear that has a motion censored camera inside of it, in Quinn's bedroom. Quinn, who wasn't fooled by the pink bear, purposefully placed it to record her father, Dean, having sex with the tennis coach. When Celia unknowingly watches the video footage (with Quinn sticking up her middle finger at her mother) and Quinn flipping the camera off afterward, she decides to place Quinn in a boarding school. Quinn has yet to re-appear.

Celia Hodes - Weeds WikiName- Sullivan Groff
Backstory: Ever since Mr.Sullivan came into Agrestic with his charming smile, Celia was tempted. Even though she played hard to get at the beginning, they eventually established a relationship. That was, until one day Celia walked on him and Nancy having sex. Celia was heartbroken and since then they were never together again.

Celia Hodes - Weeds WikiName- Conrad Shepord
Backstory: One Night Stand

Celia Hodes - Weeds WikiDoug Wilson
Backstory: Doug and Celia started off just sleeping together, but in the heat of the moment wanted more. Celia told Dean she was leaving him for Doug. But when Doug did not leave his wife Celia went back to Dean, but he would not take her back.

Celia Hodes - Weeds WikiName- Nancy Botwin
In season one, they started off as friends and through it all their relationship has been a roller-coaster. Celia desperately needs a friend and when Nancy has to be "other places" she finds it hard to cope, going as far as attacking Nancy declaring that she "be her friend." She eventually finds out about Nancy's "job" when she finds pot in the trunk of Silas's car. Celia flings all the pot in Nancy's swimming pool saying that she was "helping" her. This action by Celia resulted in Nancy not speaking to her for a while, eventually patching things up until Celia saw Nancy and Sullivan having sex on his office table. Celia threatens Nancy about going to the police in which Nancy retaliates by holding a knife to her throat. After getting the upper hand Nancy uses Celia's second home as a grow house and Celia admits that she wants in on the action. As Agrestic was burning to the ground, police and fireman found the weed in Celia's "home." After being taken into custody, Celia puts all the blame on Nancy saying that she rented it to her and didn't know anything about what she did in there (which actually was true.) Unfortunately for Celia, Doug, Dean and Sanjey all ratted her in resulting in Celia being put into jail for the mean time.
Insert photo here!Name: Pam


Celia Hodes - Weeds Wiki
Click EasyEdit to add your favorite Celia quotes (cite episode, if possible).

  • (Isabelle is standing on a scale): Celia: "You've been sneaking food..." Isabelle: "No I haven't, I swear." Celia: "Then congratulations, you must be pregnant."
  • "I've got cancer and jungle fever, and tonight one of them's getting cured."
  • "That little c*nt. I should've had an abortion [with you]." (Episode 1.1)
  • "Here's the thing, I really want to f*ck around on Dean but the thought of putting one more d*ck into my mouth is just too depressing."
  • "It's a size 2, flattering and annoying all at the same time."
    • "I'm sure he's fine! God protects the stupid!"
    • (To Heylia): These hands went to collage.
    • "Everybody likes Nancy, Everybody hates Celia. Time for everyone to come up with a new narrative."
    • "Well technically Nancy, ref can't call a foul. Shane was kicked by his own teammates."
    • (To Isabelle:) "...You don't want to be the fattest girl at fat camp this summer. Do You?"
    • "When you stop being cute and funny and clean at home and start spending your afternoons with your head buried in the snatch of the tennis pro, yeah, you're a piece of sh*t."
    • "Let your freak flag fly."
    • "I love Dean, but he has ruined our children; he has. Quinn has his asthma. Isabelle has his unfortunate build. But we all have our crosses to bear..."
    • Celia: " I followed Dean here, did you see him?" Nancy: "Yes, I did, they were playing poker." Celia: "Oh,great now he's going to come home broke, stinking of marijuana.Guess thats better than oriental *****."
    • "I was thinking of going bigger.Really big.I mean freak show big.47 triple F's.So large that the other smaller breasts will want to orbit them."
    • "Down Maggie, I have Cancer. Im Not Retarded."
    • (to Sheriff) "What are you waiting for? Search his car, hit him with your flashlight. Do what you people do."
    • (to Heylia and Veneeta) "Where are your owners?... Sorry, the owners of the Store?"
    • Marvin: "We just know each other from the grocery store. I'm, I'm a bagger and..." Celia: "Oh, ********! Like there is an obese black bagbay at any market in a thirty mile range of here. In Agrestic, the people are white, and the help is... brown, no black."
    • Celia: (Whining) "Have you ever had sex with a woman?" Nancy: "None of your business." Celia: "Oh come on, tell me... Nancy: "Ok, I slept with a woman in college once." Celia: "How was it?" Nancy: "Boring" Celia: "Well maybe you didn't do it right." Nancy: "She said it was the best she'd ever had." Celia: "What are you doing Friday Night?"
    • Celia: " I'm very mad at him. He's just not what I thought he'd be, You know?" Heken: "Which was?" Celia: "Rich. Powerful. Faithful. He just turned out to be another mid-level ******* and that makes me Mrs. mid-level *******."
    • Silas: (Referring to Quinn, Celia's doughter) "I Love her." Celia: "You stuck your penis in her. That's not love... believe me."
    • Celia: (Referring to how everyone knows her husband cheated on her) "Oh come on Nancy, I know you know. Everyone knows. there's no secrets in this town." Nancy: "Maybe a few." Celia: "No. None. You'er having money problems. Our children has sex. Judy Gordon orders Oxycontin over the internet and had developed quite the habit." Nancy: "Jesus loves you Judy?" Celia: "Jesus loves you Judy" loves her "Hillbilly Heroin," but you didn't hear that from me. I don't like gossip."
    • Isabelle: " I love Peggy and she loves me." Celia: "She's a little asian girl- they look like boys already. You might as well go for the real thing. Peggy: "Hey I have boobs." Celia: "Those are not boobs."
    • "You can not become a Lesbian just because you don't want to lose weight. The only girl you should be seeing is Jenny Craig."
    • " I could **** against a wall with my skates on. No easy feat."
    • (After boxes of Coca Cola have been dropped from an airplane into Celia's bedroom) " I was toying with a Snapple motife, but God said "Coke!"
    • Celia: " Look up" Dean: "What?" Celia: "Look up" Dean: (Looking Up) "Fine. So what." Celia: "There's no roof." Dean: " It's an atrium, Its supposed to bring in light." Celia: "When it's raining Dean, and I'm in the bedroom and I want a cup of tea I have to put on rubber boots so my slippers don't get wet on my way to the kitchen. When the Santa Anna's come over the hill in the afternoon and our neighbours are all outside feeling the wind in their hair, do you know what I do? I open the dining room door, I open the living room door, I then open the bathroom praying that my husband isn't sitting there taking one of his monster *****. I do this so that the air-conditioning can fake the sensation of flowing oxygen into our stuffy, claustrophobic, open-air atriun. A room whare plants come to die. this is the dumbest ******* room ever."
    • Celia: "Hey Nancy . This is Urma, the faith healer. She's sniffing me to see if my cancer has spread." Urma: "Would you like me to smell you next?" Nancy: "No, thnks, I was smelled... yesterday." Celia: "This was not my idea. The PTA lady sent her over. Personally I would havepreferred one of those cookies on a stick."
    • (Talking to Dean about her new hairstyle) " I'm wearing five hundred bucks worth of human hair extensions from India. Take a sniff, there's a faint curry smell to it."
    • Nancy: (Seeing Celia in her Kitchen) "Oh Jesus, you scared me." Celia: "Good. I hope you peed your panties... Where is he?" Nancy: "Who?" Celia: "All right, I guess you have to ask that." ( Imitating Nancy) "Who Celia? The one who called you a durnk at a public assembly or the one whe stole Civic Property?" Nancy: " I have no Idea what you're talking about!" Celia: (Pulling a tape from her bag) " I have silas, on video, stealing." (Nancy takes the tape, throws it, and smashes it with her shoes.) Nancy: " I have no Idea what you're talking about." (Celia pulls a gun from her bag) Nancy: "Oh not today!" Shane: (Coming in the kitchen) "Mum, we're gonna be late" (He sees Celia with the gun, Nancy takes him down with her) Nancy: "Where the hell did you get a gun?" Celia: " I've borrowed it from pen." (Celia shoots in the wall. She's all excited) "Oh my God!" (she's calmed herself) " I only had one bullet, I was gonna shoot Doug. I'll see you at graduation." (She takes her bag and leaves)
    • Celia: "Why is it that all you gay men hate women sooo much?" Director: "Because we had mothers like you."
    • Celia: "God, how did I get here? What have I done? This is not my life." Dean: "Same as it ever was" (Lines from the Talking Heads)
    • Lane: " It's your doughter. She's adsolutely perfect." Celia: "for what?" Lane: "Modelling." Celia: "Okay, well that's just cruel. come on Isabelle. Step away from the crazy person."
    • Isabelle: "Mom I want to be a model. Celia: "Get an eating disorder and then we'll talk."
    • Celia: (Talking about how long she's been married) "17 Years... How long have you and..." Doug: "Twenty... eight. Twenty two. I'm not good with numbers." Celia: "You're an accountant." Doug: "Different. Those are guys numbers. Years married, that's girl math."
    • Dean: " Where we're you?" Celia: "******* Doug." Dean: "What the hell did he do now?" Celia: "Me"
    • (TO Sullivan) "You know, I hope for Nancy's sake that you used a condom. God forbid, you should ever reproduce."
    • Celia: "Is it true what they say? That once a white women's been with a carpenter she never goes back?" Conrad: "Baby once I nail something, It stays nailed."
    • "You know, I Read somewhere that killing small animals in the first sign of psychotic behavior. You should really tell the parents, they can rush that little sociopath into Agrestic in a van with blacked out windows.
    • Celia: "I want in, I want in on your action, you mean slut, ****, *****, *****. Nancy: "You comin' down with turrets Celia?"
    • "Oh, a Mexican man with a machine gun. That looks like...a nice pastry
    • Heylia: i tried ERT, HRT, and herbals. Celia: vodka and cigarettes, only thing that works for me.
    • Vaneeta: i think i seen her on TV isn't she the Huskaroos girl? Heylia: she look a lot thinner in person. you think they pad her? Celia: trust me. they don't pad her.
    • Marvin: hey you that crazy b**ch drowned our weed. what the f**k you doin' here? Celia: oh don't worry. i'm on yo side now.
    • Celia: Black isn't a color. Isabell: Tell that to black people. Celia: I don't know any.

    Click EasyEdit to add interesting trivia or observations about Celia (cite relevant episode, if possible).

    • She was a hot rollergirl in high school and sported a pink satin jacket. (Season 1)
    • She has her daughter, Isabelle, labeled as Belly in her cell phone. (Season 3)

    • ***** creeps her out. ( Season 1 )

    Greatest Celia & Nancy Moments:Celia Hodes - Weeds Wiki

    1. When Celia is at Nancy's house days before the cancer operation. Nancy and Celia really bond with each other.
    2. The God damn M***********g Friend hair pulling incident.
    3. Celia and Nancy taking about having sex with a woman.
    4. Hey Nancy! Where's your ring?

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